Tag Archives: self-love


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IMAGINE you have a core, abiding Self;

a Self beyond the hubbub of the inner voices and distracting monkey-mind chitchat.

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IMAGINE this core Self is as pure, unblemished and perfect as it was at the hour of your birth;

before you wrapped it all around with layers of protection and ways of coping.

Screen shot 2013-06-28 at 3.06.08 PMIMAGINE this core Self is what you meet through ~

  • meditation
  • Yoga
  • absorbing pursuits
  • prayer
  • deep presence

and remember you have felt it before ~ as a pang of beauty, a quiet bliss, a deep connection, a pure joy.

  • Imagine this core Self is accessible to you at any moment.
  • This moment.
  • Imagine relating to yourself, and your loved ones, from this place.
  • Not all the time maybe, but more than you do now,
  • even without the Yoga or meditation ~ just by shifting your attention.

Slowly slowly, always coming (as my Yoga teacher says) I work to help clients reconnect to this place within themselves, so they might be happier in their relationships with themselves, and those around them, little by little, day by day.

If you’ve stumbled upon this post, please feel free to enjoy the others in this series ~

1. “I lived with Mother Theresa and Simon Cowell” about acknowledging all the inner characters who used to drown out my abiding core Self.

2. Meet Colin, the first person I met who lived connected to his core Self much of the time.

3. Hear how Colin achieved his form of inner peace and happy living.

And still coming ~ more about Internal Family Systems and how we can help ourselves, and one another, connect to our abiding core Self more often.

POST ~ My Gifts

Practice One Small Thing (POST)

Loving Myself #1 ~ My Gifts

Too many words .

My “only 500 word blog posts, I promise” have crept up.

My excuse? Some of these topics have demanded some serious space.

  • Narcissism
  • Suicide
  • Communication
  • Talking to kids

These have deserved some depth. So, what to do to provide readers with ~

  • shorter posts
  • practical content
  • actionable tips
  • in areas of potential interest, i.e., relationship focused

. . . whilst I’m on the road?

Ah – I have to mention the “on the road” bit.  My husband Mark, our daughter Mona and I will be leaving New Zealand on April 19th to spend a month back in the United States to celebrate our son’s graduation from the University of Willamette . Hooray for him!  So, I’ll be posting less regularly.

I’ll also be swept up into a deliciously hectic series of events and even though I’m expecting to be very happy, I know myself well enough to remember it will help me to have some sort of grounding practice: writing, planning, thinking, – a focus for my thoughts.  A possible win-win is this idea.  A series short, tight POSTSPracticing One Small Thing – to forward my overall theme of “Cultivating great relationships with family, friends and self” which I’ll create for my own focus, and then share with you here.

I’ll post 3 times a week, with one idea each time so that, if it seems to serve, you might try one of them as well to deepen your relationship with ~

  • Yourself  –  see the topic Loving Myself
  • Your family — see the topic Loving My Family
  • Your friends  –  see the topic Loving My Friends

OK – for the first sample lets start with loving ourselves:

Today’s POST ~ Enjoying My Gifts

We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.

Mary Dunbar

Right now, just to yourself, name 3 things you know you are good at that you also love to do. If you’re a good hydrogeologist but it’s not what really floats your boat, then don’t claim that. If you’re a good singer/songwriter (even if you’re not Roger McGuinn) and you love it – then go ahead and claim singer/songwriter as a Gift. (Yes Mark – I’m looking at you!)

Go on – risk it.

For me – really quickly, no thinking, no editing?

  1. Generating ideas
  2. Connecting with people
  3. Writing

And for you?

  1. Baking?
  2. Fixing things?
  3. Creating order?
  4. Listening?
  5. Creating Community?
  6. Making connections?
  7. Design?
  8. Playing guitar?
  9. Drawing?
  10. Juggling?

OK – got your 3 things?


Today – commit to being consciously engaged in one of your gifts. Maybe you use your Gift all the time like my friend Richard who’s gifted with a design-eye and works as an architect. OK, so today, swim around a bit in the ease and joy design can bring.  Maybe it’s been hard for you to get time for expressing your gifts today – let yourself  have a few minutes for YOU.

As you do so, notice how good you feel.

Just play in the garden of your own delight.

It is enough!

(It’s no coincidence I write a blog now is it – I LOVE writing!)