Use Feelings to Identify Needs.

If you’ve ever been curious about the connection between FEELINGS and NEEDS, try this.

QUESTION  #1

Jot down what you’re feeling this moment. Reference anything – relationships, work, fitness, future plans. Whatever is alive for you right now – take a feelings inventory.

Need some prompts?  Here are 16 common emotions, sorted as Negative and Positive.

NEGATIVE

  • Angry
  • Anxious
  • Afraid
  • Ashamed
  • Disconnected
  • Disgusted
  • Drained
  • Sad

POSITIVE

  • Confident
  • Connected
  • Engaged
  • Excited
  • Grateful
  • Peaceful
  • Happy
  • Surprized

OK – make your list.

Bet you noted more than one feeling! Here’s my list, right now:

  • Frustrated
  • Anxious
  • Jealous
  • Excited
  • Hopeful
  • Sad
  • Intrigued

“So what?”

Here’s the magic.

With Questions 2 and 3 I’ll show you how to use your feelings/emotions to help identify what you need in this moment, even though your conscious mind might be clueless.

QUESTION  #2

Of the feelings you just identified, there’ll be some you’ll want to keep feeling. For me that’s excited, hopeful, intrigued and sad. I don’t mind sad. It motivates me to keep trying to make the world a better place. It’s an old friend.

The other feelings you possibly want to transform or not feel. For me that’s frustrated, anxious & jealous.

Take any one of the feelings you want to transform and ask ~

“What feeling would I prefer to have?”

Take my feeling of “frustrated” as an example.

Q ~ In the face of feeling frustrated, what feeling(s) would I prefer to have?

A ~ Flow, inspiration, audacity, faith, confidence

Nearly done – stay with me here. Soon you’ll be able to connect your feelings and needs in a flash, but I want to slow it down to show you how.

Now we’re ready for ~
QUESTION #3

Ask ~

“Now that I know I’m feeling ____________, and I’ve identified I’d rather be feeling ______________ , what do I need to get me there?”

For me this looks like ~

Now that I know I’m feeling frustrated, and I’ve identified I’d rather be feeling flow, inspiration, audacity, faith & confidence, what do I need to get me there?

Here’s my free-association response ~

I need to live audaciously. I need to do one thing out of my comfort zone each day. I need to take big, fat risks and stop hiding behind needing things to be perfect. I need to be OK with failure. I need to leave frustration because it is keeping me safely stuck!

Huh! My conscious mind did not know this. I was thinking caution, more research, more time, less risk. But apparently my emotional body has a whole other plan!  I’ve moved from feeling vaguely upset and stuck in a project, to a forward momentum action plan. My feelings pointed me toward what I need. OK – now I’m intrigued to see what happens when I work with anxiety and jealousy!

Might this work for you?

5 thoughts on “Use Feelings to Identify Needs.

  1. gemmautting Post author

    Yes, it is a bit sneaky/giggly. “Body mind” seems to offer up way funner suggestions than “Brain mind.” For me anyway. Love your language Lisa, as usual.

    Reply
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