Love as Lust

Part 1 of 5 How to Win At Love – in Five Easy Stages

STAGE  #1 LUST ~ You’re on the hunt

What is it that gets a perfectly happy guy who is otherwise content to swill some beers over sport talk with his mates, to eschew the bar, clean up and hang out with a woman while she asks ~

  • his opinion on her girl-friend’s boy-friend’s jerk behaviour (TIP: agree he’s a looser)
  • whether or not she should pierce her navel (TIP: tell her she’d look great either way)
  • whether these shorts make her look fat (TIP: nothing makes her look fat – how could it?)
  • for a movie date with The Notebook (TIP: let her cry on your shoulder and offer her some clean tissues you’ve packed along just in case)

What is it that gets a perfectly happy gal who is otherwise content to snuggle the cat in sweatpants whilst simultaneously “chatting” to her mother, and at least 3 other girl friends, to climb back into her heels, pop on the eyelashes, shimmy into the hip huggers and head on over to ~

  • watch the game with his mates (TIP: be enthusiastic when his team does well)
  • grab a bite to eat (TIP: be flexible on the first date – it won’t always be Take-Away)
  • go fishing on the weekend (TIP: take Dramamine, avoid makeup)
  • play competitive mini-golf (TIP: you could decline…..)

Evolution – that’s what!

According to Dr. Helen Fisher we humans have evolved three core brain systems to successfully mate and reproduce our species. This first one, of lust and attraction,  is the drive we all need to leave our comfort zones and head out and mate. If you really stop and consider how very different men and woman can be, it makes sense that our ancestors with the strongest desire to get out there and have sex are the ones whose genes have been most successfully replicated.

So –whether you want to simply indulge your sexual appetite, or you are hunting for a long term companion until  death do you part, if you’re single and don’t want to be, you’ll need to mingle.

How to win the LUST Stage?

TIP 1  ~ Be clear about what you want. Just sex?  Be alert & safe, but you don’t have to be too fussy. If it’s sex and a possible relationship, then be safe but try and meet someone who shares some interests – see below.

TIP 2 ~ If you’re kinda-sorta interested in meeting the right person get out there and do stuff you enjoy; or try speed dating; participate in singles networks and watch how successful “attractors” go about it.

TIP 3 ~ If you are super-serious about meeting someone for the long haul, go to,  take their free personality test and discover the sort of person you are statistically most likely to be attracted to, and then get back out there!

(Let me know if you find a good catch this way.)

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